Post by flintlock on May 22, 2016 20:38:52 GMT -6
>Enigmatic Voice: Opening Narration, if you'd be so kind.
>I want you to imagine something.
Don’t worry; it’s not going to be anything too outlandish. Wouldn’t want to you to pop a blood vessel.
Imagine the REALITY you know today. Ignore the abstract minutiae like GRAVITY that you know in your head, but only see the end result (i.e. ‘STUFF FALLS DOWN’). I’m talking about the reality that you’re sitting in. The one that has CITIES, SUBURBS, HOUSES and FAMILIES. The one where CIVILISATION has conquered all it can see, and now lounges being a general nuisance (and slandering GHANDI). Where you can find forty different kinds of PASTA SAUCE all lined up next to each other at the grocery store, but you still use the flavour packet from the two minute noodles. Where nobody actually wants 2.2 kids, even though that’s what it says on the chart. Where you’re told you can be whatever you want when you grow up, then later told you don’t know what you want.
Pardon me, I’m being melodramatic. You get the picture, though.
Now, add a pinch of the ABSURD. I’m sure you all know the kind I’m talking about. The kind where a kid can have a high speed sword fight with his elder brother on the roof of his apartment building without getting the neighbours angry at the racket. The kind where a girl can live on an island in the middle of the ocean with ROBOTS, a TAXIDERMY'D UNCLE and a god damn GODDOG. The kind where Evil (with a capital E) can lurk behind the carefully manufactured facade of a harmless BAKING GOODS CONGLOMERATE... Moreso than it already does, okay?
You got that all stewing away in your head? Good. That entire premise is basically false, but like a high school commerce student, you’re going to have to assume that reality matches the over simplified model because that’s all you’re going to get.
Plus, I ain’t gonna describe your room for you. Describe your own room, slacker.
Today’s a day a lot like the day before. Not like the day before that, however, for today is SUNDAY (for most of the world; bits of it still think it’s been MONDAY for the past couple of hours, the poor bastards) and you have approximately ELEVEN HOURS to waste before you’re are mostly probably required to go to bed. You’re still recovering from the OVERDOSE OF DISAPPOINTMENT you received yesterday from playing SBURB, but you’re THIRTEEN, so you’ll be fine. Disappointment builds character.
Ostensibly, today is the day of FREEDOM, for you have TIME and NO PARTICULAR RESPONSBILITIES. Of course, what this means is you’re going to do EXACTLY THE SAME THING YOU DO EVERY WEEKEND. Chat on PESTERCHUM. Surf the INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. Play some JAEMS. Etcetera. Wow, you’re a BORING PERSON.
Oh, also, you have an EMAIL. Feel free to look at that whenever you have a moment.
Or don’t. I ain’t your dad.